Monday, September 5, 2011

Neptune Baby

So, in the search to figure out why the hell I have felt so Piscean all my life when I am in fact, not a Pisces rising, I decided to investigate Neptune in my chart a bit more, which led me to research the square aspect between the Sun and Neptune a bit further. I do believe that tells the story.

It's a fairly tight square, with a 2'43" separating aspect. That's important, since Neptune is an outer planet, and thus is generational. Thus anyone born with the Sun in Virgo or Pisces within a few years of me will also share this square, so the tighter the orb the more relevant.

From Cafe Astrology:

Those people born under a challenging aspect between the Sun and Neptune often struggle with a desire to be something special or to experience something more than the ordinary. They are day-dreamers and idealists. It is easy for these people to trust others, even (and perhaps especially) people who might seem from the outside looking in as unsavory types. They are looking to identify with something beyond what is normally expected of people.

Most have in common a childhood that didn't help the natives direct or define their lives. Perhaps the early family life was lacking in supervision or clearly defined rules. A father figure may have been absent or distant and ineffective. They might gravitate towards the "wrong people", or get in with the "wrong crowd" in an attempt to define who they are. They might be susceptible to being taken advantage of by others, especially by men or authority figures. They can be easily led astray by peculiar desires or self-destructive habits. In order to add a greater-than-ordinary dimension of experience to their lives that helps them to feel special and important, they might be attracted to Neptune-ruled behaviors, such as secret affairs, drugs, or other escapist behaviors. In some way, these people feel a strong urge to glamorize their role in the world. In extreme cases, the natives are completely deluded. However, in most cases, there is simply some confusion about the past (such as remembering childhood experiences in ways that are far removed from reality), and a tendency to daydream about being someone more "important" than they assume they are. They may struggle with early conditioning that made them feel tossed aside or neglected in some way, and certainly not directed and supported.

These people are very sensitive, especially with regards to any real or imagined blows to their ego. The natives are likely to recognize at some point in their lives that they have a tendency to engage in escapist and self-destructive fantasies and/or habits.


You become involved when others lean on you and depend on you. You are sensitive to suffering, fond of animals, and more emotional than you let on. You are vulnerable emotionally.

And then I found something on the web that someone said who shares this aspect with me:

I don't have a good sense of boundary between me and others. It's always sort of blended. I take on other people's identity, pursuits or tastes on very easily without me realising doing it. Maybe that is what it means when it says you see into the heart of others easily. I don't do it to be invasive or because I'm curious or anything like that. It just happens via osmosis and it is a most natural occurrence. And most annoying too.

I'd love to have a strong sense of self but I don't. I'd love to have a better sense of what I want of life and follow my own heart but I don't. Not having a strong sense of self breeds self-doubt and discontent and all sorts of other problems, but let me not digress. Sometimes the fogginess of Neptune gets so bad that I am angry because I don't know who I am. And then when the fog lifts, I am angry because of all the time I waste in pursuit of other's interests, instead of my own. I become disillusioned with life a lot. Neptune/Sun aspects make it difficult to know your self.

That about sums it up! Yes, I think this explains the "Pisces" in me. So, I'm still a Neptune baby for sure. Just not a mermaid...

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